31 Things I Wish I Told My Younger Self

1) Cutting all your hair off will not magically transform you into Posh Spice. You will become Boy Spice...

2) Do not spend your pocket money on those plastic covers that protect your Beanie baby tags. Your collection will never make you money. Carelle, you were conned.

3) When your parents tell you to save money, save money. It's not stupid it's genius.

4) Don't cry when your favourite band splits up. Cry when they reform 10 years later and sound and look completely tragic.

5) Academic results aren't everything. Inner confidence, people skills and get up and go are far more important. 

6) It's actually ok to be shit at maths. You can spend your adult life using a calculator and no bloody teacher will take it off you so don't panic.

7) Say yes to braces. Get them on those gnashers ASAP. Say no to blue eyeshadow.

8) When your parents split up it's going to be ok. They will end up happier. Promise.

9) Use push up bras with caution. Come summer when you're in your bandeau bikini you cannot hide the lack of boobage.

10) It's perfectly ok to have small boobs.

11) Rethink this pose, (and bra).

12) Don't waste too much time crying over boys. Wait until they become men.

13) Be patient. (With reference to point 12)

14) This doesn't make you a model. It makes you ridiculous. It also makes you poor. You do not want to know how much I paid for the privilege of owning such a tragic picture.

15) Do not dye your hair brown

16) Embrace having a weird name and stop telling people your name is Sarah. It's better to have a weird name than to be a liar.

17) Don't just look at your hairbrush. Use it.

18) Wear suncream on your face. Lots of it.

19) Don't tell everyone when you're taking your driving test. It's embarrassing when you fail 3 times. Trust.

20) Once you've finally passed your test don't allow your pervy instructor to take a picture of you for his website. THIS will forever be on the internet. I'm not ok with this.

21) Saying I love you in response to every bebo comment is not appropriate. You cannot possibly love the stranger from Hull that said "U is fit bbz"

22) When your parents ask if you're ok answer honestly. Learn how to openly talk about how you feel.

23) "Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair. Gives you something to do but gets you nowhere."

24) Learn to love washing your hair. You greasy goblin...

25) You will look like Harry Potter. Embrace it.

26) Being called ugly doesn't make you ugly. It makes the mean boys at school ugly. 

27) When your Mum thinks dying your hair bright red for Halloween will be a good idea say NO. It will last for MONTHS. 'Wash in wash out' my arse...

28) When your parents force you to write thank you letters it is not a boring inconvenience. It's amazing. Never stop writing them.

29) Dream big. Fortune favours the brave.

30) Learn to say sorry quickly and easily. Forgiveness is so important.

31) Cherish family photos. Frame them. Keep them. Love them.

Now you can't say I haven't been spoiling you with beautiful pictures recently. Dreamboat...

Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you in my next bloggy :)

C x

My Spider Bite - Part 2

If you haven't read Part 1 you can read it here :)

Now where was I...

Remember I was facing surgery to remove that ugly black dead tissue stuck to my leg?

Well... the dermatologist was adamant it had to be removed ASAP. It was severely stunting the healing process that should have started weeks before. It was clear the skin around the bite was healing and getting smaller but the necrosis was getting harder, if you looked at my leg at the right angle you could see the necrosis was completely concave and sunken into my skin. I was given two options… Option 1) Have a series of local anesthetic injections inserted around the bite to numb the area in order for the dermatologist to remove the necrosis using a scalpel. I was warned this wouldn’t numb the area entirely and I was already in such a severe amount of pain she thought it would be far too traumatic for me. Yes babe. Correct. Option 2) Go under a general anesthetic and have the necrotic tissue removed and I would know zilch about it. Absolutely no one really gets excited about the thought of an operation but by this stage I was like, “Look girlfriend, let’s get this show on the road…” Unfortunately she had no theatre space in the next couple of days but she was keen for me to be seen as quickly as possible. A few phone calls later I was booked in to see a plastic surgeon for a pre-op assessment on Monday morning.

In the meantime the dermatologist bandaged my leg with a specific type of dressing which would add moisture to my necrotic tissue. The idea being that the softer and more moisturised the dead tissue became the more likely it could be removed more easily. The effects of this dressing meant the black necrotic tissue would be drained, more wet looking and the black bits less black (technical terms obvs). 

One afternoon shortly afterwards, I was at my Nan and Grandad's house and my leg was SO uncomfortable, I was continuously popping pain killers, I could hardly move and I could see lots of blood building up underneath my bandage. In all honesty I was really getting fed up. Next thing I know I’m nervously picking away at the bandage thinking ‘surely blood is NOT a good sign’. Minutes later the bandage was removed, I burst into tears from the pain and I also realised it wasn't bloody blood at all! It was the build up of thick brown goo that had been removed from the dead tissue, you know, the 'less black bit' I talked about. This is EXACTLY what was meant to bloomin happen and now I had removed the dressing. Oh Carelle. You are a knob...

This is when the ugly bite got a whole lot uglier and the pain got a whole lot more painful too. 

The bandage was now off and the ordeal of cleaning the bite and getting it redressed quickly to reduce the risk of any infection was looming. I was still suffering from serious ‘don’t touch my leg' anxiety and it took both my Mum and Nan to pin me down to get it redressed.

The wound was covered up with my usual dressing and a couple of days later the dead tissue started to get dark and hard again, exactly what the Dermatologist was avoiding. Back to square one. I AM AN IDIOT.

 Monday arrived and I met with a plastic surgeon named Mr Colville, turns out he has worked for many years in America and has seen some terrible spider bites in his time. He explained that when spiders bite they often inject their victim with anesthetic, this explains how I have no recollection of feeling the spider actually bite me. Sneaky sod... He explained that the bite had no infection anymore (after three courses of antibiotics I'd like to bloody think not...) He also explained he was very dubious about surgery although he could see why the dermatologist was keen to remove the necrosis as with regular wounds it's vital for the necrosis to be removed pretty sharpish but with his experience of spider bites he didn’t think this was specifically a good idea for me. The outside skin was healing nicely and if he operated on it he would cut out the necrosis and scrape away at some of the healthy tissue causing a larger scar than I was already told to expect and potentially a hole in my leg for the rest of my days… He also said that after the operation I would then be left with an open wound which would have to be packed and dressed for a further three weeks - this was not ideal as it could be susceptible to infection again. By leaving the bite how it was he said the necrotic tissue would EVENTUALLY get smaller and fall off causing me very little pain and trauma. I walked out the hospital with very mixed feelings. I had psyched myself up to have the operation and to be told that I just had to leave it the way it was was gutting, especially as it could take a further month for the dead tissue to eventually fall off! Massive blow. The finish line was so close and it felt like it was suddenly taken away from me. The surgeon said it was important he kept a close eye on my leg and I was to contact him if I experienced any changes.

A week later the surgeon contacted me and said I should start letting the air get to the bite and I should even start showering too! This felt like CHRISTMAS. A shower. An actual shower where I could get my entire body wet. I had been strip washing and bending my head over the bath to wash my hair for the last 6 weeks! This news was a serious step in the right direction and let me tell you, my back was pretty pleased! I even started wearing jeans again and I was slowly but surely standing up on my feet for longer periods of time. I started getting the train to see my friends (whilst being constantly dosed up to my eyeballs with painkillers) and although I was paranoid of knocking my leg I was so much happier... I even managed to go to a wedding that weekend. I wasn’t able to boogie as much as everyone else and I spent most of the reception sitting on a stool but for the first time in weeks my life felt a little more normal.

Sadly the morning after the wedding I woke up in complete agony... my bite looked completely different (AGAIN). My leg was swollen, the bite was throbbing and the nerve pain was definitely making itself known again. The icing on the cake that day was when I went to get into a friend's car, I totally misjudged the angle and I knocked my leg on the way in. Rolling around the back of the car in pain I felt I might have just taken another massive step backwards (and I wasn't wrong).

I sent a picture to the surgeon and he gave me an emergency appointment a day later. This was the first time I had to make my own way to the hospital. I had never gone alone before and I was having to really psych myself up for this (how selfish of everyone being busy that day...) Mr Colville lay me down, told me to look away and with a set of tweezers and scissors he scraped off a tiny section of the dead tissue. You can imagine my reaction. He said he was sorry for having to do that but with the state of my leg he had to quickly look underneath to rule out infection. "Do you want the good news or the bad news Carelle?" Errrrrr...
"The Good news is that there isn't an infection. Bad news is I've now got to remove the entire dead tissue. It's too dangerous to leave like this." The pain I was experiencing from just the smallest bit being removed was crazy. The new skin underneath was really stinging, I was REALLY crying and so he asked the nurse to go and get a series of injections of local anesthetic so he could remove it. I was offered that 2 weeks ago by the Dermatalogist and didn't want it then either. Brilliant. The nurse seemed to take ages getting the appropriate medication and my 'I think I'm suddenly a super hero' alter ego kicked in and I said "Look, just take it off now. Go Go Go!" He looked at me like I had a sudden personailty transplant. 
"If you're totally sure Carelle..." He picked up a pair of scissors, I gripped the edge of the hospital bed and he started cutting away at my leg. I have never zoned out and focused so much in all my life. I don't really remember it but what I can recall is the intense pain as my new flesh underneath the wound became exposed to the air for the first time in two months. The necrosis was gone. The surgeon down tooled in time for the nurse to come in, wipe away my tears and start packing and bandaging up my leg.

I had spent eight weeks feeling unproductive, upset that I wasn't able to achieve anything and cross that it's typical I would be the one that got bitten by a bloomin house spider and have such a terrible reaction! However I was now experiencing serious pride and elation, (as well as a heap load of pain). Not only had the girl with a terrible fear of Doctors surgeries and hospitals arrived at the hospital by herself without having to get dragged in by a family member or her boyfriend, she also had her necrosis removed without any pain relief! Mr Colville also said that he was surprised how tough my necrosis was to remove and told me that the spider would have had to have been a venomous spider to have created a necrosis like that. He told me it was incredibly unlikely that a house spider could ever have caused a reaction like that even with my history of allergies. He has seen so many spider bites and a regular house spider could never do that much damage and venomous spiders are known for causing necrotic bites.

Unfortunately my bite hadn't got any smaller since the last time he measured it a week before but the good news was that my healthy tissue was squidgy and padded which meant I'd be mainly dealing with a bad scar on my leg and NOT a hole! I was sent home with the biggest bag of dressings. Yep, you guessed it... I now have to pack and bandage my leg for three weeks. Exactly what would have happened if I had the operations weeks before! The surgeon seemed disappointed I had suffered such an unexpected set back, we were all really hoping the necrosis would just fall off. He gave me a big hug, told me to NOT knock my leg and he'll see me in two weeks.

You're thinking wo wo wo hold up Carelle. A venomous spider was in your house? Yes, it probably came home with me from the supermarket on a bunch of bananas or something. I actually consider myself very lucky as a few years ago a young boy in Essex was bitten in bed by a Brown Recluse spider and died. So heartbreaking and I feel very fortunate to have not had a worse experience.

I am in the process of organising my house to be professionally fumigated and I'm also about to start a course of therapy. Since the spider bit me I have been really battling with my sleep and night terrors. I check the bed sheets for spiders each night, I dream there are spiders in the bed and there have been times when I've stayed at my boyfriend's house and he has been woken up to me running out of bed in my sleep and found me crying and shaking in the corridor. He would then take me back to bed and spend the next hour promising me it was a dream, calming me down and reassuring me there was in fact not a spider caught in the bed sheets. When something affects your subconscious it's a very scary thing and I don't want this to escalate into a genuine phobia so it's important I sort it out now before it gets worse.

I am so relieved the necrotic tissue was removed. It's a huge blow to have my leg bandaged for a further three weeks but I've already done eight, I can do another three. (I'm now on week nine writing this blog post). The pain around the bite has dramatically improved, until I knock it of course! The healthy tissue is looking great and I'm already starting to get scar tissue developing. The biggest pain this week was discovering I was becoming incredibly allergic to the bandages I was given by the hospital. The bite was still giving me neuralgia (nerve pain) which I have grown accustomed to but the entire skin around my bite has been excruciatingly painful. The only way I can describe it is trying to pull off a big plaster and a strip of gauze on a huge patch of fresh sun burn. Again every night my Mum or boyfriend are having to help me change my dressings(I am now using ones I'm not allergic to but still suffering from the aftermath of the reaction). Here's my latest picture from a couple of nights ago. Apologies for the weepy goo...

Visually the bite has improved enormously and as soon as the skin pain around it calms down I'm sure I'll be able to feel a genuine improvement too. I have a further two weeks of having my leg packed and dressed and I am seeing the plastic surgeon again next week for which I hope will be my final ever appointment.

I managed to go to do some work this week for a few hours. Doesn't sound like much but it's a really great start and I'm so happy. I also judged a singing competition for Teen Star last weekend and I am starting to drive my car on short journeys. I'm having to do most things sitting down still as I'm suffering from lots of swelling and I'm paranoid of knocking my leg but these improvements are really exciting. Until I get the all clear from the hospital I won't be completely satisfied but I'm certainly on the mend. I have missed so many great presenting opportunities and I have had to cancel so many of my Radio shows it's been truly gutting but once I'm better I'll certainly make up for lost time.

I would just like to say the biggest thank you to my family. My Dad has done the most incredible amount of research on spider bites and has ensured I am treated by professionals that will do their very best to help me. Huge thank you to my Mum for being so supportive and being a great nurse, my friends for constantly checking up on me and lastly a massive thanks to my boyfriend that has given up his days off to drive me around the country to see specialists, who has bandaged my leg up more times than I can remember, waited in A&E with me for hours and has stayed up with me at night after I've had a bad spider nightmare. Sounds like I've just won an award and that's my acceptance speech. Nope. Just my post spider thank you's. Ya know. What every girl dreams of...

Lastly thank you to those that are reading my blog and for those that have sent me the loveliest messages after reading Part 1 a few days ago. That post has been read nearly 1,000 times in just three days. That's a huge amount for such a new blog like mine. Thank you thank you thank you!

The chances of this EVER happening to you is so unbelievably slim. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was incredibly unlucky but if you ever see an alien like blister appear on your body PLEASE go to the Doctors or A&E straight away. Don't leave it like I did. On a more positive note the spider rid me of my fear of hospitals so I gotta be grateful for something :)

Thanks so much for reading and I'll let you know how I get on at the hospital next week. 

Lots of love

C x

My Spider Bite - Part 1

On March 24th I woke up to find a blister on the side of my leg. It had a red ring around it and I was pretty shocked to say the least! I immediately felt pretty faint and went downstairs to show my Mum. 
"Mum, I've got a lump on my leg and I feel a bit sick..." Mum had her nose in her laptop whilst sipping her morning coffee. She gave me the 'I'm sure it's nothing...' look and got up to have a nose. Seconds later she backed away and giggled "Wow. That is a blister. I think I feel sick too." Awesome. Now we both feel sick. Just excellent.  

'Doctor Carelle' self diagnosed the problem. There was a red ring around the blister so surely this HAD to be a bad case of *drum roll please* RINGWORM. As soon as I Googled 'does Ringworm really hurt?' I quickly realised my blister was something more sinister, I also discovered it was in fact NOT bloody Ringworm! Both Mum and I were Googling my symptoms and the next thing I know I'm running to the toilet to be sick. Brilliant.  It was pretty clear I was reacting badly to whatever 'it' was. Mum encouraged me to go to the Doctors but my fear of the Doctors Surgery far outweighed the worry of my blister so we met in the middle and Mum drove me to the Pharmacy. Well wasn't that a waste of time... "Hello Carelle, that looks like a bite. Take an antihistamine. Goodbye".

I spent the next 3 days watching my blister get bigger and bigger. My leg was getting more and more uncomfortable but I was determined to A) Not go to the Doctors (it's only a blister..) and B) Carry on as normal! So off I went to work for the next few days.

The blister started to fill with more and more liquid and I had been advised to allow it to pop naturally. My boyfriend picked me up from my house and in the car started to quiz me about what the 'Doctor' had said. Yep. I somehow magically turned the Pharmacy trip into a 'Doctors' appointment. Next thing I know I've burst into tears, admitted I never saw a Doctor, apologised for telling a fib and finally admitted I was starting to get a little concerned about this blister. After a sea of tears, snot and hyper ventilation we soon came to a compromise. "Look Carelle, as soon as the blister bursts we're going to the Doctors".  Yes Sir.

Sure enough a day later my blister burst. Fluid splatted onto my boyfriend's Mum's cream carpet (Sorry Pat!!!) and streamed down my leg into my shoe. Delicious. I was very relieved it had popped and the next day I plucked up the courage to go see a Doctor. The Doctor told me it looked like a spider bite (as she had seen some recently) and that it was infected. I started a course of antibiotics and had to have it bandaged every day for the foreseeable future. 

The pain was absolutely unbelievable and the antibiotics made me feel so sick. I spent the next couple of days in bed with nausea and went to see another Doctor that changed my antibiotics and a nurse started re dressing my leg every few days. As soon as the air would touch my bite tears would stream down my face. I became very nervous about anyone going near my leg and the pain was getting worse. I wasn't sleeping as I associated my bed with the location in which I got bitten by the spider and I was really starting to get frustrated that no one was giving me any answers as to what was going on! The look of the bite and the pain I was in was getting worse.

Two weeks and countless trips to the nurse to get my leg redressed plus two courses of antibiotics shoved down my throat later, I experienced a really terrible turn. One evening my leg was incredibly swollen and that night I got no sleep. I was lying in bed crying with pain and I could hardly walk. I was immediately rushed into A&E, saw four different doctors and if I had a pound for every time one of them said 'Bear with me whilst I get a second opinion on this' I'd be stinking rich! I was given a third set of antibiotics for my spider bite and was warned these were STRONG (I later found out that they were antibiotics you'd give someone with TB!)I was taken home with a bottle of Morphine and was told to have at least 2 weeks off work with bed rest. I was given MediHoney (Honey patches to keep over the bite).

I was now off work, completely bedridden, my leg was constantly elevated above my heart and I was pumping myself with a third set of antibiotics and also the morphine. By this stage I was really struggling to sleep in my bed at home. With my background of suffering from severe allergies AND no medical professional being able to tell us a huge amount about my 'spider bite', we put my pain down to a bad allergic reaction to a regular house spider bite. I didn't even know house spiders could bite! I must have rolled onto it in my sleep and it bit my leg in self defense. Although we had previously turned my bedroom inside out when looking for the 8 legged bugger and found nothing we did eventually find one... One night I decided to hobble downstairs and make myself a hot water bottle, on my way back to my bedroom a spider ran towards me along the corridor outside my bedroom. I immediately started shaking and crying and my super hero Mum managed to calm me down. It was a bitter sweet feeling... Sweet because I'd like to think that this was the exact spider that bit me and now it's been caught, but I felt bitter because I was psychologically distressed and traumatised by seeing it just before I went to bed.

Weeks later of much of the same thing, I visited my Dad and showed him my leg for the first time. He was pretty horrified I was still being majorly affected by it nearly a month later and he immediately organised me to see a Dermatologist to get a further more specialised opinion. Dr Rosebotham took one look at my leg and signed me off work for a further two weeks. I had another blood test to make sure I hadn't contracted Lyme Disease (which I hadn't. Phew.) 
I found these visits extremely traumatic. When the nurses would change my dressings I would howl in pain. One nurse would be dealing with my leg whilst my boyfriend and a second nurse would be pinning me down on the bed. By this stage the severity of my bite was clear. I had an actual hole in the side of my leg.

The dermatologist was hoping in a week's time (5 weeks into the ordeal) the hole in my leg would close up, scab and the healing process would finally start. A week later I went back to visit her and unfortunately my leg hadn't scabbed at all. The area around the bite was getting smaller which was great but the actual bite had become necrotic. This is when your body cannot recover from a trauma, there is an inadequate local blood supply to the area and the cells have totally died. The necrotic tissue was very dark and incredibly hard. By this stage I was also starting to suffer from neuralgia, intense nerve pain from my new skin knitting back together.

Another week passed and off I went to the hospital once more. By this stage the dermatologist explained that the longer the necrotic tissue stayed on my leg the skin underneath the bite would not be able to heal. She was hoping the necrotic tissue had loosened and she'd be able to start teasing the dead tissue away from my leg. My leg flinches every time someone's finger goes near it, you can imagine the state I was in when she was trying to dig at my leg with a scalpel! The pain was unbearable, I had five people in the room pinning me down on the bed but unfortunately the necrotic tissue was firmly glued to my leg. It was not going anywhere fast. It looked like I was facing surgery to remove it :(

I have decided to write this blog post in two parts. It's now been nearly 9 weeks since I was bitten and I'm still really suffering. I AM certainly improving but I still have a way to go. There's a lot more to explain and some more gory pictures to update you on and I thought doing it all in one post would have just been far too gruesome. I never really intended on discussing my bite on my blog or social media. I have recently found that so many people have been asking me about it so I thought writing my story down would be a good way of explaining it all.

My blog has been an amazing outlet for me to keep my mind busy and I've used it as a great way to forget about my leg and remain positive. I've realised there's a lot worse that could happen and it's always great to gain perspective. I've had some really frustrating and sad days and creating this blog has really kept me going. I am so thankful to those that have read my blog posts so far, you didn't know at the time how much it meant to me.

I will be uploading part 2 of my spider bite in the next couple of days. I'm now about to lay on the sofa so my Mum can bandage me up once more. It's become quite a daily routine!

Thank you for reading and I do hope my pictures didn't put you off your dinner.

Click here for Part 2. Lots of love.

C x

My £10 New Look Shirt - I Just Love It!

Last week I popped into my local New Look and was unexpectedly met by two large sale rails as soon as I walked into the store. My intention was to go straight up the escalator to look at the shoes. Of course I couldn't do that. I was FORCED by the 'Sale Gods' to spend my time rooting through the rails in the hope of finding something in MY size, something I could wear both in the warmer AND cooler months AND ideally find something monochrome.

Sure enough this beauty of an oversized shirt was hanging on the rail right in front of my eyes. BINGO. I could see myself wearing it over a long sleeved t-shirt in the winter whilst being thin enough to be a cool, loose shirt during the warmer months. 

Want to know the best thing about it? It cost me just £10. 

This shirt is honestly so comfy it almost feels like I'm naked when I wear it. It can be perfectly dressed down with ripped jeans and a pair of white converse but it can also look smart teamed with some skinny jeans and a nice pair of heels.

I find buying lovely clothes in the sale so satisfying especially when I immediately know that I'll wear the item many times! 

Quickly go and check out the New Look sales! They always have an amazing array of sale items on their website too so make sure you go have a look when you're next looking for a serious reason to procrastinate.

Hope you like my monochrome shirt too. Not at all bad for a tenner :)

Thank you for reading and I'll see you in my next bloggy.

C x

Things I Have Loved This Week - 19th May

Another week has flown by. I’ve got lots to talk about so here goes!

Rugby 7’s

Every year Twickenham Stadium hosts the ‘Rugby 7’s’ – A day where lots of rugby is played, people dress up to the nines and lots of beer is consumed. It was touch and go whether I would be going. My leg is really starting to improve (HALLELUJAH) but I’m still incredibly weary of large crowds, if someone knocks my leg I seriously know about it and I WILL bite…

You only live once and it was a chance to catch up with one of my nearest and dearest friends Chloe. We bandaged my leg up and off we went. Comfort was key that day so I dodged jumping on the ‘let’s spend a truck load of money on our ticket AND our fancy dress costume’ band wagon and I opted for an all black ensemble, shoved a tub of glitter all over my face and wore some sparkly alien antennaes. The theme this year was ‘Out Of This World’ and there were some really incredible costumes. As you can imagine my black outfit only narrowly missed the shortlist for best dressed…

I caught up with so many old friends, the sun was shining, I had a beer in my hand and it was such a great day! No one knocked into my leg which was a complete miracle, I didn’t stumble over and disgrace myself which was even more of a miracle and the day was just fab, until the journey home…

Every road in Twickenham was closed that day so the only method of transport was to follow the herd of thousands of people and walk from the stadium back to the train station. The queue to get a train took over an hour and a half. By this stage I had sobered up and I was desperate to get home. I left all my friends at the stadium enjoying themselves as I was keen to make my getaway. Rubbing shoulders with drunkards in skimpy fancy dress knickers, men squeezing their packages into bikini bottoms (WHY?) and having other people's body paint sweating off their arms and sticking onto my glittery skin is just YUK. I finally got my seat on the train just as a drunken hooligan next to me pulled his pants down and attemptED to wee on the train. Luckily the guard stopped him in time and he was dragged off the train a few minutes later. Amazing day but I’ve realised I’m getting old and boring. My tolerance for drunk people is really starting to diminish, I was more than happy to return home, get my pj’s on and sit in my slippers with a cuppa tea in my hand. The small pleasures.

Judging Teen Star 2015

Teen Star is a nationwide singing competition. It’s the UK’s biggest search for teenage and pre-teen singing talent and this year saw just under 10,000 applicants. I was invited to be on the judging panel for the London Area final and jumped at the opportunity! At first it was hard to get my head around it. I’ve been asked to judge? Me?

Years ago when I was taking my singing career seriously I knew SO much about Teen Star and its sister company Open Mic UK. Despite never having the balls to enter I knew what a great platform it was for young emerging talent. Who was I to sit at the front of the stage and score each act? Some of the kids were under 12 years old! I was blown away by their confidence and passion for performing and I admired them all so much. The talent was unbelievable and it was awesome to have an entire theatre packed out in support for these young kids. It worked a little like X Factor. There was a huge stage, a table in front of the stage for judges and industry professionals and behind us were a sea of supportive faces! Throughout the competition the microphone was handed over to me and I was able to say what I was looking for in an act and whose performance I enjoyed so far. I felt so lucky to be able to spend the day encompassing both my experience as a singer songwriter but also use my presenting skills to talk to a room of hundreds of people.  Well done to EVERYONE that entered, you blew me away with your talent and confidence. I could never have got up on a stage like that at 8 years old. You’re all brilliant.

I will be writing a blog post about my day in a little more detail. I want to specifically talk about which performances impressed me and what were the sort of things I was looking for. My opinion is ONLY an opinion but I know if years ago I found a little blog post from a previous judge I’d have been really keen to see how they were scoring each act and what they were looking for. Even if it only helps just a couple of young singers then I’m happy. Keep your eyes peeled for it :)

Drinks With Friends

I’ve realised this week just how the simple things in life with friends can mean so much. I had an amazing time at the rugby with Chloe but in all honesty the night before when I snuggled in her dressing gown and she made me a cuppa and we talked about anything and everything was my favourite part of my whole weekend with her. I become so used to speaking to my friends over Watsapp and txt message it’s really special to just be in their company, no TV and no iPhones glued to our side. 

A few days later my friend Holly came home and we caught up over an incredibly indulgent hot chocolate with all the trimmings. I speak to Holly most days over Watsapp but there’s something so different about old fashioned conversation. When you ask someone face to face how they are you can get SO much more detail out of them. I’m in the worst habit of saying ‘yeah I’m fine thanks…’ over txt message when actually I should be offloading and sharing my stresses and thoughts to a friend. We spoke about careers, boys, general life stuff and it felt so so good! Thank you Holly and Chloe for the simple things. Great drinks and great conversation.

Juice for 50p

When I dropped Holly home from our hot chocolate hour we noticed a little girl on the side of the road raising money for Nepal. She was standing behind a table outside selling lemonade and juices for 50p. When I saw this it literally melted my heart and Holly and I soon raced out the car to go chat to her. Luckily I had plenty of change in my purse (makes a change...) I handed the young girl a few pounds and Holly and I took our juices. She was such a sweet bundle of energy and I can imagine how proud her Mum must have been of her for standing out on the street raising money for such a great cause. Well done Lucy, it was lovely to meet you!

I was really hoping to get this blog post up yesterday but I had to deal with a rather unfortunate encounter last night. My cat snuck into my bedroom yesterday morning and despite being allergic to her it was quite a novelty and privilege to be paid a visit! (I normally religiously shut my bedroom door so she can’t sneak in). My cat sat on my bed for 10 minutes whilst I got ready to leave the house. I came back into my bedroom before heading out the door, had a thorough look around to make sure she was NO longer in my room and I firmly shut the door behind me. Hours later I came home to find my cat had been in my bedroom ALL that time. She must have been hiding in my wardrobe, sneaky bugger... To my horror she had peed ON MY BED. Nope, not on the carpet, not on the dirty towel I had left on my bedroom floor but MY ACTUAL BED. I spent the evening washing everything and scrubbing my mattress like my life depended on it. My bed is now spotless but I’m still unhappy...

Here’s a picture of Delphi before she committed the crime of the century. Butter wouldn’t melt… (Love you really pissy pants.)

Thank you for reading, have a wonderful week and I will see you in my next bloggy :)

C x