Last night I received a really rather tragic haircut. I came home to find my haircut was incredibly uneven and to make matters worse I preferred the longer side. Only solution? Chop off the longer side to end up with a short bowl hair cut which looks hilariously like a mushroom. Excellent.
Here are 6 practically useless pieces of advice I'd like to share in case this ever happens to you...
1) Go into the hairdressers and overdose them on pictures of what you want your hair to look like. Leave nothing to chance. If you want an EVEN haircut, point at the picture and ask for NO wonky bits.
2) If you're not sure as to whether your eyes are playing tricks on you and you happen to have an unobservant Step Dad at close proximity ask him for his opinion. If he gives you the 'I spy a shit haircut look' then it's really time to panic.
3) What's a great way to annoy someone just after their Step Dad gives them 'that' look? Have the hairdresser say down the phone "You're welcome to come back later. I'm MORE than happy to squeeze you in and correct it for you." Oh wow thank you so much. I am most grateful for your squeezing. Can't wait to see you. AGAIN.
4)What's an even greater way to annoy someone that has returned to the hairdressers for the second time in the space of 3 hours?
Have the manager refuse to give you a refund. Yep. No apology, no refund, no hair products, Not even a mint from their tacky little bowl on the counter. Knob.
5)How to feel better about your new mushroom haircut that you seriously hate? Thank your Dad for passing his hairy gene on to you and be safe in the knowledge the hair on your head will grow quickly. As well as your leg hair, your armpits etc. Dad, I owe you one.
6)How to know it's time to get a bloody life and stop being so shallow and worrying about your mushroom hair? Walk into Boots a day later, buy some Dry Shampoo, queue up to pay and see a Lady in front of you without any hair due to cancer treatment. Carelle, you've been pathetic.
A year ago I would never have publicised the fact that I paid for a terrible haircut. I'd have sworn my Mum and best friends to secrecy and blag the fact I love my new 'do'.
Laughing at your own minor misfortunes is healthy and an incredibly important skill in life to master, (one I'm still working on). What better way to make me realise I need to get a grip and help me realise this really isn't a big deal? Publicly share it on social media so I can gain perspective and realise just how much of a pathetic moron I have been in the last 24 hours.
Turns out the manager called me up yesterday evening to apologise for how I was treated and said he will offer me a full refund and a complimentary blow dry, (the latter of which I won't be accepting) but thanks anyway...
I hope this makes you feel better about your own hair. If it's even AND it's the length you want it then you're a winner in my eyes.
Thanks for reading and I'll see you in my next bloggy :)